and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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