Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Everybody was literally kung fu fighting

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.

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(330): View more from Ohio

It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.

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(949): View more from California

Just try and act like you're sober

(1-949): View more from California

I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots

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