Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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