Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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