i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
