Will you blow on my dice?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
