Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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