so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
