Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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