I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
