It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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