When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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