I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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