He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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