Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
