you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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