One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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