I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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