Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
