The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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