We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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