hell yes lets make some ravioli
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
