I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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