Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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