So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
