Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry about my life...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
