never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
