I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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