so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
