Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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