I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
