I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
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Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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