I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
