Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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