There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
