I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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