I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
