I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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