This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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