His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
