but the lizard people decide everything anyway
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize