Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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