we're blogging at a bar
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
