So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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