there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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