No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
