she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
