Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
