I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
