someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
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I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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