Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
