yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
