I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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