so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
