Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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