Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you never un-have a 4some
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
