we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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