i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
