If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
